They say God is love but often times I wonder, what is human?
I personally do not want to believe that all the pains and disappointments make me human because that would mean I hate being human.
They also say as a human I am made in the image of God. And if God is love, therefore I am compelled to love.
But what if love is a deception invented by mankind to keep us from acquiring true power?
Or else why would I feel so vulnerable when I love you? Almost as if my heart is one mistake away from being pulled out of my chest and scattered to pieces.
So what then is the concept of God, Love and, Human?
Maybe love is overrated.
Maybe as a human, my true nature is to consume and destroy. Because it is almost as if we humans invent ideas like God, love, and righteousness and then use the same so-called noble ideas to kill anyone who does not believe in them. Ironic right? Well, it is said that the strong do what they must and the weak suffer what they must and it is what it is.
But if love is our true nature, that would explain why we are so weak. We are probably weak from pretending to be something we are not.
We pretend to be heartless but deep down we need people’s validation to feel loved. We pretend to be strong and powerful but at the end of the day we only end up hurting ourselves and the ones we love and care about. Yes, we make up fancy words like collateral damage to justify our pretense but deep down we all know the world would be a much better and safer place if we did not have to pretend to be strong and just love.
What if instead of pretending or showing our neighbor that we are stronger, we could embrace our true nature of love. That is of course if love is our true nature as humans.
Of course, I believe love is indeed our true nature because my first instinct as a child was to love. Along the line, I might have turned dark. But who could have blamed me? After all, the first heartbreak is enough to turn anyone dark. But it is said, God gives us what we can handle, even if we don’t believe in it ourselves.
So often I ask myself what it means to be human.
Well, I choose not to believe that there is only one predestined way of life for everyone because that would limit my choices and free will. But as a human I know I might not have the power to change things whenever I want to so I have to be willing to accept the things I cannot change and rely upon someone. Yes, it seems I have no real power and I live at the mercy of forces outside my control, yet I believe that what I feel is right because more than often all I’ve got is my guts. I am not also ashamed to admit that I pray without faith and in turn question why it doesn’t work. But the uncertainties are all part of being human. Above all, I have faith even when I do not choose to exercise it. I have faith that love conquers all. I have faith in my ability to love because God is love and I am made in the image of God. And most importantly, I have faith in myself because I have faith in God.
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