The eyes they say are the windows to the soul. But what good are your eyes without a soul?
We are all walking around with broken souls.
Our souls are burdened by uncertainties, troubles, and realities we cannot escape from.
So pardon me when you look into my eyes and see a deep dark hollow and not a soul.
But please believe me when I tell you that I have a soul and it is buried in there somewhere.
Although it is sufficient to say that to get to my soul you need to dig a bit deeper than scratching the surface.
Because my surface has been scratched a little bit too often and all that leaves are scars I cannot escape from.
The question I keep asking myself every day is how do I get rid of all these scars I have gathered along the way in the name of soul searching? My skincare routine seems to have failed me in times like this.
My mind keeps telling me that it would be easier to drift into the deep dark hollow inside where my soul ought to be and stay there just to escape from reality.
But way too often I have seen people drift in there and never return. Because to me, a dead conscience is a dead soul.
We live in a world of vessels walking around empty without souls nor substance.
Vessels controlled purely by greed.
Or maybe these vessels just found a way to bury their souls deep in due to the scars obtained along the way. After all, an African adage says ‘na condition dey make crayfish bend.’
As a child, I wondered, ‘what condition could possibly make me let go of my soul and substance?’ needless to say that I still don’t know where I lost my soul. All I know is that I have lost it and it seems I cannot get it back. I think I need a redo in life. Maybe I need to start my life over with a proper manual this time. A manual to teach me how to hold on to my soul. A manual that tells me how not to trade my self’s worth for others’ approval. I would also love to learn about how to keep doing the little things that make me happy while balancing life’s challenges. Because for sure, challenges are expected but does that mean I should lose my soul in the process of dealing with them?
In a world of hopelessness, I hope the manual comes with a ‘Do Not DESPAIR‘ instruction.
At the end of the day, I just want to be happy. I believe that is not too much to ask for.
I just want to be happy with my family, happy with my friends, happy with my society, and above all, I really just want to be happy with myself because I owe myself genuine happiness.
With everything that can go wrong in the world, me being happy with myself should not be one of them.
Maybe I do not have to wait for a life’s manual. maybe with my experience I can be optimistic to live my life to the fullest, taking a day at a time. Maybe my glass is rather half full not half empty. And hopefully, when I am gone, it will be written on stone in the words of George Strait that I left nothing behind.
So next time when you look into my eyes, you will see a soul full of good times, happiness, love, and a soul at peace with itself and the people around.
That to me is what being alive is all about